Many people are familiar with the relationship breakup as one time in life they were involved in a relationship which in turn did not last. A relationship breakup is the termination of an intimate relationship by any means other than death. The term is commonly known as dumbing in slang when it is done by one partner. The term dumbing can only be applied to those who are dating but not among married couples. It is widely known as separation or divorce. When couples engaged to get married breakup it is termed as a broken engagement. Some people believe that the breakup of dating or cohabiting relationships can be as painful or more painful than divorce because these non- marital relationships are less socially recognized.
STAGES LEADING TO A RELATIONSHIP BREAKUP.
The stages which lead to a relationship breakup include dissatisfaction, Exposure, Negotiation, Resolution and transformation and Termination.
Dissatisfaction is where one or both partners grow dissatisfied with relationship.
Exposure: Both partners mutually become aware of problems in relationship.
Negotiation: Both partners attempt to negotiate solutions.
Resolution and Transformation: Both partners attempt to negotiate soulutions.
Termination: Proposed resolution fails to rectify issues and no further solutions are accepted or applied.
There are factors that predict a breakup in a relationship and this includes;
Age difference
Different educational aspirations
Difference in intelligence
Difference in physical attractiveness.
REASONS FOR RELATIONSHIP BREAKUP.
1) Bad behaviors.
The bad behaviors which include smoking, drinking, chewing tobacco and many others have to stop as they can lead to a termination of a relationship.
2) Cheating
This breaks your partner's trust which is really hard to rebuild but it can be done.
3) Misdirected anger
Meeting your partner and bringing a bunch of negative energy with you can only make things ugly. You can have the soothing you need and have your mood changed in a few moments by just asking for a hug and saying sweetheart I have had a bad day.
4) Being unsupportive
If you cannot support the one you love when he or she is stressed because of some life events, you're trying to say that the relationship is not worth your time and energy.
5) Not communicating
Lack of communication in a relationship can lead to break as one partner will be left with the work of forcing the other to communicate which will in turn lead to misunderstandings.
6)Giving up
One partner may see the relationship not working or not going the expected way hence they'll give up.
7) Stealing
Financial problems or lack of financial assistance may make one an individual to steal from the partner and this breaks trust among the partners.
After a breakup an individual will be affected both positively and negatively.
NEGATIVE EFFECTS
1)Psychological Distress symptoms
Being without their partners causes an individual self-concept to shift as they struggle through emotional stress. This involves an active attempt of denying or ignoring the circumstances of the current situation or those that led to the breakup of the relationship. Individuals also feel number and uninterested with the world around them because of the brakubr.
2) Grief Reactions.
A natural effect of the loss of a relationship that an individual had hoped to keep is grief, because they desire to keep the relationship intact despite problems and complications. The grief reactions which individuals go through include sleepless nights, depression and suicidal thoughts.
3) Decline in physical well being
The general negative emotion that individuals feel after a breakup often triggers other behaviors and habits that are either detrimental to their mental health or signify poor mental health conditions which include;
Increased alcohol use
Weight loss
Worsening physical health
Admissions to psychiatric services
Increased criminal behaviors
Increased risj of suicide
Negative emotions and feelings such as guilt, anger and rejection.
4) Stalking effects
One partner attempts to maintain unwanted contact with another. This behavior stems from unhappiness with the circumstances following a breakup of the relationship as well as misguided belief that the stalking may result in the reforming of the relationship.
Everything that has negative effects must have positive effects too even if they are few. The positive effects of a relationship breakup include;
Stress related growth and Improved future relationships.
1) Stress Related Growth
Individuals that are placed under stressful situations are often faced with an opportunity for growth and development as a result of this stress. Without this push to improve, individuals are often pushed towards complecency and refuse to make the necessary efforts to progress through life.
2) Improved future relationships.
People learn alot of lessons after going through a painful experience. The stress that a person goes through after a breakup causes improvements to their overal character- self- image and ability to interact with others. This is due to increased level of maturity by the individual.
Saturday, 2 May 2020
Tuesday, 21 April 2020
SINGLE PARENTHOOD
Children are supposed to grow in an intact family where there are both parents who play their expected roles but this has been neglected as we have many single parents now days. It hurts alot when you grow up knowing that your own father or mother the person who was to stand up for you while you grow up abandoned you.
Being a single parent is not always a choice in most cases it's always fate. Single parenting comes with it's share of fun and challenges. The challenges of single parenting especially being a single mother are very overwhelming and it requires a single parent to combine the roles of two people with raising the children and running the house.
A single parent is a person who lives with a child or children and who does not have a spouse or a partner. Single parenthood can be caused by death, divorce, breakup, abandonment, childbirth by a single woman or a single person.
CAUSES OF SINGLE PARENTHOOD
Historically death of a partner was a common cause of single parenting but improvements in maternal care have decreased mortality for those of reproductive age, making death a less common cause of single parenting.
Divorce is another cause of single parenthood. After divorce one parent is allowed to make important decisions about the children involved. Children are affected by divorce in many different ways, varying by the circumstances and age of the child. Young children aged two to six are generally the most fearful of parental separation and often feel abandoned or confused.
Children aged seven to twelve are much better at expressing emotions and accept parentage breakage but often distrust their parents and rely on outside help and encouragement and may experience social and academic problems.
Adolescents cope the worst with divorce, they often struggle most with the change and may even turn away from their family for good dealing with their situations on their own. Adolescents always have problems expressing their feelings.
Another cause of single parenthood is Single Woman Births. These are pregnancies gotten out of wedlocks. These pregnancies are frequently not allowed in the society as they often result into single parenthood. A partner may leave or abandon the other partner as he or she may not want to take up the responsibility of taking care of the child. Most of these children end up with their mothers as mostly men abandon women after impregnanting them.
Choice is also another cause of single parenthood. Some individuals choose to become pregnant and parent on their own. Others choose to adopt. This comes about when a person has not found the right person to raise children. Some people may have experienced hardships when they were being raised and so they decide to raise their kids on their own rather than being in marriages which are not good.
Being a single parent is not always a choice in most cases it's always fate. Single parenting comes with it's share of fun and challenges. The challenges of single parenting especially being a single mother are very overwhelming and it requires a single parent to combine the roles of two people with raising the children and running the house.
A single parent is a person who lives with a child or children and who does not have a spouse or a partner. Single parenthood can be caused by death, divorce, breakup, abandonment, childbirth by a single woman or a single person.
CAUSES OF SINGLE PARENTHOOD
Historically death of a partner was a common cause of single parenting but improvements in maternal care have decreased mortality for those of reproductive age, making death a less common cause of single parenting.
Divorce is another cause of single parenthood. After divorce one parent is allowed to make important decisions about the children involved. Children are affected by divorce in many different ways, varying by the circumstances and age of the child. Young children aged two to six are generally the most fearful of parental separation and often feel abandoned or confused.
Children aged seven to twelve are much better at expressing emotions and accept parentage breakage but often distrust their parents and rely on outside help and encouragement and may experience social and academic problems.
Adolescents cope the worst with divorce, they often struggle most with the change and may even turn away from their family for good dealing with their situations on their own. Adolescents always have problems expressing their feelings.
Another cause of single parenthood is Single Woman Births. These are pregnancies gotten out of wedlocks. These pregnancies are frequently not allowed in the society as they often result into single parenthood. A partner may leave or abandon the other partner as he or she may not want to take up the responsibility of taking care of the child. Most of these children end up with their mothers as mostly men abandon women after impregnanting them.
Choice is also another cause of single parenthood. Some individuals choose to become pregnant and parent on their own. Others choose to adopt. This comes about when a person has not found the right person to raise children. Some people may have experienced hardships when they were being raised and so they decide to raise their kids on their own rather than being in marriages which are not good.
Tuesday, 7 April 2020
MY LIFE IN BONDAGE.
An attachment is an experience in which every student puts into practice whatever he or she was taught in class but to some of us it was a lesson in which we would never forget. It was during the month of September when we were running around Technical University of Mombasa pressing the school administration to give us the logbooks for we were going for an attachment.
I had already send the documents to my mum and I was sure she had secured an attachment place for me. On arrival at home my mum gave me a certain phone number and when I contacted the person he told me to take my documents to Bungoma-TV Magharibi. I took the documents and I was well received by the Chief editor of TV Magharibi. The guy was good looking- the tall handsome but not dark😂😂 I know what you're thinking but to tell you the truth he was friendly and he helped me out in writing the cover letter since I had not written.
After submitting the documents Meshack suggested we have lunch together but I declined with an excuse that I had some other businesses to take care of at home. He was acting like a big brother I never had and so he called me to ensure that I had arrived home safely. He communicated with my mum and he assured her that I would secure an attachment place in their organization. He also told her not to worry about accommodation for he will take care of it. My mum has a weakness of trusting every person as long as that person acts like a saint, talks about God and such sort of things my mum would probably trust you and that's what happened with Meshack. On 23rd September travelled to Bungoma and since I arrived late I hat to take my bags to Meshack's place and then in the evening he would take me to the place where I would be staying. In the evening he took me to Sherry's place and that's when it dawned on me that Sherry was his ex- girlfriend and his baby mama. Life was good at the beginning for Sherry and I were getting along very well the only thing that was getting on my nerves was Meshack. That guy would text me every time claiming that he loved me and he was ready to prove his love to me...
Before I forget when I got to TV Magharibi I was warned against him. Many of the staffs we're talking about him, how he makes sure that all attaches fall for him and after he's done with you he would dumb you and so I promised myself that I would never be his prey.
Meshack realized that his sweet words were not working on me and so he came up with plan B. He lied to Sherry that he was ready to start a fresh with her and so he needed to move in with us for them to strengthen their relationship. Sherry was beaming with happiness forgetting that once a player is always a player😔😔 He joined us two days later and that's when the game started. Sherry and I were living in a single room and so I wondered how we would share a room with a man but I dared not to speak.
During attachment the attachees encounter alot of challenges of which myself encountered.
First of all some of the staff members are so nosy and they wouldn't mind their own business, they would ask everything about you, where you live whoever is catering for your needs and all sorts of things.
Sexual harassment is another challenge as most of the male stuffs would approach you with an aim of sleeping with you.
I had already send the documents to my mum and I was sure she had secured an attachment place for me. On arrival at home my mum gave me a certain phone number and when I contacted the person he told me to take my documents to Bungoma-TV Magharibi. I took the documents and I was well received by the Chief editor of TV Magharibi. The guy was good looking- the tall handsome but not dark😂😂 I know what you're thinking but to tell you the truth he was friendly and he helped me out in writing the cover letter since I had not written.
After submitting the documents Meshack suggested we have lunch together but I declined with an excuse that I had some other businesses to take care of at home. He was acting like a big brother I never had and so he called me to ensure that I had arrived home safely. He communicated with my mum and he assured her that I would secure an attachment place in their organization. He also told her not to worry about accommodation for he will take care of it. My mum has a weakness of trusting every person as long as that person acts like a saint, talks about God and such sort of things my mum would probably trust you and that's what happened with Meshack. On 23rd September travelled to Bungoma and since I arrived late I hat to take my bags to Meshack's place and then in the evening he would take me to the place where I would be staying. In the evening he took me to Sherry's place and that's when it dawned on me that Sherry was his ex- girlfriend and his baby mama. Life was good at the beginning for Sherry and I were getting along very well the only thing that was getting on my nerves was Meshack. That guy would text me every time claiming that he loved me and he was ready to prove his love to me...
Before I forget when I got to TV Magharibi I was warned against him. Many of the staffs we're talking about him, how he makes sure that all attaches fall for him and after he's done with you he would dumb you and so I promised myself that I would never be his prey.
Meshack realized that his sweet words were not working on me and so he came up with plan B. He lied to Sherry that he was ready to start a fresh with her and so he needed to move in with us for them to strengthen their relationship. Sherry was beaming with happiness forgetting that once a player is always a player😔😔 He joined us two days later and that's when the game started. Sherry and I were living in a single room and so I wondered how we would share a room with a man but I dared not to speak.
During attachment the attachees encounter alot of challenges of which myself encountered.
First of all some of the staff members are so nosy and they wouldn't mind their own business, they would ask everything about you, where you live whoever is catering for your needs and all sorts of things.
Sexual harassment is another challenge as most of the male stuffs would approach you with an aim of sleeping with you.
Sunday, 15 March 2020
IMPACTS OF STANDARD GAUGE RAILWAY
The Kenya standard Gauge Railway (SGR) is the biggest transport infrastructure project in the country's history which provides transportation to both cargo and passangers. The SGR extends from the port of Mombasa at the Indian Ocean to Malaba town at the kenya- Uganda border. The SGR was created with an aim of making transportation easier and also to reduce traffic jams . This aim was achieved as the commissions on the roads have slightly reduced. The SGR has shortened the passangers' travel time from Mombasa to Nairobi from more than ten hours to about five hours.
Everything that has positive impact will automatically not lack the negative ones.
A study contacted by one University in the country showed that sixty percent of employees working at the Container Freight Stations (CFSs) were sacked over same period. The study also showed that Mombasa county is at economic decay point with the CFS, long distance trucks and transport related businesses such as fuelling service stations mostly affected.
The negative impacts to the Mombasa economy include;
*Market disruptions
*Danger to the environment
*Increased debts
*Collapse of towns
*Destruction and loss of the agricultural crops, natural vegetation and water bodies
* Involuntary resettlement.
1) MARKET DISRUPTIONS.
With reduced travel time and costs, coupled with safer travelling conditions, the SGR was set to become the preffered mode of transportation for passengers and cargo owners hence taking a huge percentage of them off the roads.
2) DANGER TO THE ENVIRONMENT.
Pollution from dust , exhausts emmissions, waste materials, oil spillage, noise and vibrations from equipments and locomotives is bound to occur during construction and operation of the railway. This makes the Mombasa county to use a lot of funds.
3) INVOLUNTARY RESETTLEMENT
Many people were displaced from their homes during the construction of SGR. Even though they were promised to be compensated some people were not refunded hence they were left homeless.
4) INCREASED INSECURITIES
The construction of SGR has increased insecurities in Mombasa county as people want to earn a kilivi from any means and since job opportunities are few they join the gangs in order to earn a living.
5) EFFECTS ON HEALTHY
Due to the destruction of environment many people have developed healthy issues like respiratory diseases which have affected them badly
All in all as it may seem the SGR has alot of negave impacts on the economy but they cannot outwin the positive impacts as the SGR has led to urbanization.
It has also improved tourism in the country as more tourists are seen in the country and many use the SGR as a means of transport as it connects to the different parts of the country.
Don't forget to comment and criticize where possible for me to correct on the mistakes done...thanks🙏
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| The SGR image. |
A study contacted by one University in the country showed that sixty percent of employees working at the Container Freight Stations (CFSs) were sacked over same period. The study also showed that Mombasa county is at economic decay point with the CFS, long distance trucks and transport related businesses such as fuelling service stations mostly affected.
The negative impacts to the Mombasa economy include;
*Market disruptions
*Danger to the environment
*Increased debts
*Collapse of towns
*Destruction and loss of the agricultural crops, natural vegetation and water bodies
* Involuntary resettlement.
1) MARKET DISRUPTIONS.
With reduced travel time and costs, coupled with safer travelling conditions, the SGR was set to become the preffered mode of transportation for passengers and cargo owners hence taking a huge percentage of them off the roads.
2) DANGER TO THE ENVIRONMENT.
Pollution from dust , exhausts emmissions, waste materials, oil spillage, noise and vibrations from equipments and locomotives is bound to occur during construction and operation of the railway. This makes the Mombasa county to use a lot of funds.
3) INVOLUNTARY RESETTLEMENT
Many people were displaced from their homes during the construction of SGR. Even though they were promised to be compensated some people were not refunded hence they were left homeless.
4) INCREASED INSECURITIES
The construction of SGR has increased insecurities in Mombasa county as people want to earn a kilivi from any means and since job opportunities are few they join the gangs in order to earn a living.
5) EFFECTS ON HEALTHY
Due to the destruction of environment many people have developed healthy issues like respiratory diseases which have affected them badly
All in all as it may seem the SGR has alot of negave impacts on the economy but they cannot outwin the positive impacts as the SGR has led to urbanization.
It has also improved tourism in the country as more tourists are seen in the country and many use the SGR as a means of transport as it connects to the different parts of the country.
Don't forget to comment and criticize where possible for me to correct on the mistakes done...thanks🙏
Sunday, 8 March 2020
THE HUMOUR BEHIND THE DEADLY VIRUS.
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| A meme indicating that China is the only nation that can be affected with corona. |
Many deadly deseases like Cancer mostly affect everybody but because the wealthy people are the ones who come out explaining of how they had used their resources to try curing the disease Kenyans have also come up with the quote that Corona virus will only affect the rich people. "Eeeh hivi viini vya korona vitawadhuru tu tajiri Sisi maskini tutavitoa wapi ilhali hata China wenyewe hatukujui," this was a statement said by one lady as we were boarding a bus.😂😅 People fail to understand that the rich and the poor are all human beings and whether rich or poor you can be affected by this deadly virus.
It's always good to joke about something as this reduces anxiety among the victims and this is what most kenyans and other African countries are doing but we should not forget that this virus is deadly and once infected you will automatically die.
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| An image showing the Corona virus |
Sunday, 1 March 2020
MY LIFE EXPERIENCE IN UNIVERSITY.
I still remember the saying that was loved by most of my high school teachers. "Work hard so that you may enjoy life in campus." Many of us dreamt of that life the life where you will have all the freedom you need. No one would mind whatever you do as all the decisions will be made by you but alas unexpected always happen. It was on 7th September 2018 when I stepped my feet in Technical University of Mombasa. I was accompanied by my lovely mum as she believed that I was too shy to take myself to school. I was warmly welcomed by one of the stuffs in Tum who ensured I was comfortable and also secured my accommodation in Tum premises. Life was so enjoyable the first two days as we were only two students in the hostel but when the other two joined us life in hostels became hell on earth. My roommates would bring in their drunk boyfriends and do nasty things not minding what others would think. From the look of things, you would tell they had started drinking as soon as they joined the university as they would vomit and talk shit the whole night.
While in Tum I made friends and we supported each other with classwork and even in advising each but as we all know not all our friends would follow our advice even if it's a good piece of advice and this has made one of them drop out of school and because I was the only friend who was introduced to the parents I have to help them look out for her for she left home and no one knows her whereabouts. I thank God for my lecturers as they are more understanding. Most of our lectures are always available when we need them as they always advise us to look out for them when we need help in any unit .
Our lectures are the father figures we have around and they show us fatherly love that some of us never experienced in our life. Even though we cross there lines by doing weird things like not attending their classes, going against their wishes but they never let us down.
While in Tum I made friends and we supported each other with classwork and even in advising each but as we all know not all our friends would follow our advice even if it's a good piece of advice and this has made one of them drop out of school and because I was the only friend who was introduced to the parents I have to help them look out for her for she left home and no one knows her whereabouts. I thank God for my lecturers as they are more understanding. Most of our lectures are always available when we need them as they always advise us to look out for them when we need help in any unit .
Our lectures are the father figures we have around and they show us fatherly love that some of us never experienced in our life. Even though we cross there lines by doing weird things like not attending their classes, going against their wishes but they never let us down.
Sunday, 23 February 2020
TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS AMONG UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
Human beings especially the teenagers in universities want to be emotionally and physically close to each other. Life seems good when we share it with the ones we love but most of the time unexpected always happen and we end up being in toxic relationships.
Toxic relationship can be defined as a relationship where one partner controls aspect of the other partner's life and can be abusive in a psychological, physical or sexual way. The person who is getting abused or controlled can described as the victim. Causes of toxic relationship can be lack of communication, lies are told between the partners, lack of financial support which may make one partner to cheat.
There are different types of Toxic relationship which includes: 1)Belittler
2)The Bad temper
3)The over depended and many more.
Belittler
This type of toxic relationship an individual will constantly belittle you. He or she will make fun of youeven in front of your friends. They can make it look like a joke but in reality they are moving you. An individual will tell you that you are lucky to have them as no other person will want you. I had a male friend who was in such kind of relationship and things we're not working out. The lady would abuse the young of not being man enough to cater for their needs. She would blame him for any slight mistake he made and she would always remind him of the numerous times she had helped him. This made the young man to turn into something else.
In the Bad temper toxic relationship the individual will get angry on slight provocation. An individual may hurt or kill his or her partner when provoked like the murder case of ivy wangeci who was murdered by his boyfriend who had claimed that the deceased had cheated on him. Some of the university students would drown themselves to death.
The other example of toxic relationship is the over depended toxic relationship. In this relationship one partner will tell on the othe
r for advice he or she will accept whatever the partner offers. An individual is not able to even offer advice to his or her partner.
All in all a toxic relationship can turn into a healthy relationship if worked upon as everything needs alot of effort to be achieved. But I would advise you all to leave the toxic relationship for good as it is better to loose one individual than risking loosing your life.
Toxic relationship can be defined as a relationship where one partner controls aspect of the other partner's life and can be abusive in a psychological, physical or sexual way. The person who is getting abused or controlled can described as the victim. Causes of toxic relationship can be lack of communication, lies are told between the partners, lack of financial support which may make one partner to cheat.
There are different types of Toxic relationship which includes: 1)Belittler
2)The Bad temper
3)The over depended and many more.
Belittler
This type of toxic relationship an individual will constantly belittle you. He or she will make fun of youeven in front of your friends. They can make it look like a joke but in reality they are moving you. An individual will tell you that you are lucky to have them as no other person will want you. I had a male friend who was in such kind of relationship and things we're not working out. The lady would abuse the young of not being man enough to cater for their needs. She would blame him for any slight mistake he made and she would always remind him of the numerous times she had helped him. This made the young man to turn into something else.
In the Bad temper toxic relationship the individual will get angry on slight provocation. An individual may hurt or kill his or her partner when provoked like the murder case of ivy wangeci who was murdered by his boyfriend who had claimed that the deceased had cheated on him. Some of the university students would drown themselves to death.
The other example of toxic relationship is the over depended toxic relationship. In this relationship one partner will tell on the othe
r for advice he or she will accept whatever the partner offers. An individual is not able to even offer advice to his or her partner.
All in all a toxic relationship can turn into a healthy relationship if worked upon as everything needs alot of effort to be achieved. But I would advise you all to leave the toxic relationship for good as it is better to loose one individual than risking loosing your life.
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